The other day I was talking to a wonderful woman who, like everyone else, is facing some unique challenges. She has a lot on her shoulders but is handling it all like a champ. She doesn’t quite realize how well she’s doing and I get the sense the stress is starting to affect her self esteem. She had mentioned to me something she’s become involved in and really invests a great deal of time and talent into doing the best she can. And she’s doing awesome! However, she’s feeling a bit hurt by the lack of support from her friends. She’s not asking people to spend money, invest their time, or lift a finger. She’s simply asking people she considers friends to show a little emotional support. It’s shameful she even has to ask.
That being said, where do we draw the line in showing emotional support for one another? Just because someone isn’t one of my dearest, best, closest friends doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be happy for them or support them in something they have an interest in. Heck, I would do that for a stranger.
So why is it so many people (especially women) seem to be so bitter and hateful towards one another? Isn’t the goal to share the limelight with someone equally deserving? Or even step aside and let someone else shine every now and then? What’s the harm in saying a few kind words? What are women so afraid of?
I was raised in a family of incredibly classy women who had a great deal of self esteem. I can’t recall ever hearing my mother, grandmother, or aunts being malicious or nasty to anyone — even if they were given reason. I was taught to ‘take the high road’ and it’s always worked out rather well for me. And by ‘taking the high road’ I mean either completely eliminating negative forces from my life or just outright ignoring the source. I have a theory — if you don’t pay my bills or feed my pets then how important is your opinion of me? Eh. Not at all.
Of course ignoring those filled with hatred and negativity doesn’t always take me out of their line of fire. It simply means I rarely know about it, and when I do I certainly don’t allow it to affect me emotionally. After all, when someone feels negatively about us then obviously their opinions are skewed as well. And sometimes, well, they’re outright delusional.
But the question still remains; where do we draw the line when it comes to supporting one another? At what age do women stop cheering one another on and start attacking their peer? And what prompts the lack of support?
It’s often said ‘if someone hates you it’s because they can’t have you or can’t be you’. Is it really that simple?
I’m truly blessed to be surrounded by a group of great friends who happen to be very strong, confident women. We empower one another. Support each other’s ideas. And always reach out to offer a hand, a smile, or a word of encouragement. And I like to think we do the same for random strangers. Like me, they avoid negativity.
Some would say the ability to remove yourself from shallow, petty, bitterness comes with maturity. I happen to think it comes from a good upbringing by self assured, successful women.
“Girls compete with one another. Women empower one another.”